Coaching Self Love

Newly Single Girl’s guide to getting over heartbreak

As I mentioned in an earlier post, I was madly in love with a guy. A guy who was my knight and made me feel like a princess. He was my best friend, the one guy who could make me laugh at any time, the one who gifted balloons and chocolates to street kids.

Then, he broke up with me for a girl, a girl who was a common friend, a girl he had sex with one night because she was depressed.

The whole thing just blew in my face and I went into depression.

For a long while all I could do was replay the scenario in my mind asking “what if” questions and crying into the night. There were so many questions and no answers.

I wanted to get over the pain, but something or other made me think of him and set me crying. It was a difficult seemingly unending phase, and this is what it taught me on getting over heartbreak.

1>    Avoid him like plague: Sounds kiddish but seeing/talking with him will bring out emotions and you may end up saying/ doing things you will regret. I used to call him & then spend the night crying, it’s so not worth it.

2>    Cry: A break-up is tough, and it’s OK to cry over a loss. Just a find a place where you can be alone, like crying into your pillow at night or in the shower when you’re getting ready for the day. Remember, the purpose here is not to make your lover come back, but to heal u.

3>    Talk & share your feelings: Talk it over with your close friends – just talking and having someone to listen to your pain, hugging you and just being there 24*7 is a huge help. Nights were the toughest time, as just before you sleep, all the memories will come crawling, call your friend and talk.

4>    Letting go ritual: Recognize that you have been hurt, you may be angry, feel cheated, totally sad. Accept those feelings – write them all down on a piece of paper. Collect all the mementos – those small cards/ love letters / dried flowers etc. Create a bonfire and burn all the above mementoes and the paper with your feelings. Visualize – your pain burning away with the stuff. Have a shower and visualize yourself being cleansed and healed. This ritual helped me feel whole again. Also donate all his gifts to charity, the goodwill will help you heal while looking at them will hurt you.

5>    Indulge yourself: Do things that you always loved, get yourself pampered in a spa, go shopping, join a gym, take a hobby class – do anything you enjoy, it will keep you busy and release hormones which will make you calmer & happier.

6>    If nothing helps change: I changed my city, got a great new job which I loved. The whole getting used to a new life, pretending to be happy in front of new colleagues helped me a lot. You may not want to be so drastic, you can go in for a new haircut/change your wardrobe, get yourself a complete makeover.

Hope, that the steps help you. Remember, being single is not a crime or punishment. True love, will come into your life soon but till then let’s have a blast.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: